To the citizens of the United States of AmericaIn light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties o ver al l states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
3. Yo u will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation.
4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
5.There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
6. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holida y, but to be celebrated only inEngland. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day."
8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and wit hout t he benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") -roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.
14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred t o as " beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
17. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer". Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to ho st an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated to 1776.
Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese
Friday, September 29, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
All go
Well the school term is now up and running and in usual form scouts has now restarted and appears to be going quite well. We have lost a few members over the summer and seem to have replaced some of them with new members which is quite nice.
The weather is even on our side tonight we were outside and in true British style is rained all dayt and still turned out nice for us to spend the evening on the heath playing a wide game, in the darkness with a couple of glow sticks to mark out the mid-point and the bases plus the two flags that we were using.
The weekend wil lbe fairly quiet a meal with some friend tomorrow night then Underwater hockey training on Sunday. All ready to go back to work on Monday
The weather is even on our side tonight we were outside and in true British style is rained all dayt and still turned out nice for us to spend the evening on the heath playing a wide game, in the darkness with a couple of glow sticks to mark out the mid-point and the bases plus the two flags that we were using.
The weekend wil lbe fairly quiet a meal with some friend tomorrow night then Underwater hockey training on Sunday. All ready to go back to work on Monday
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Birthday Time
Every year there is one day that scares everyone and of course is the thought of waking up officially a year older than you were when you went to bed. This years birthday was a little strange, although Ive been away from home now for 6 birthdays this was the first time that I didnt have contact with my parents. In their wisdom they decided that early september was the ideal time to go for a bu trip and cruise through the rockies amd one of the Alaska Fjords.
However all wasnt lost I still had the usual barrage of cards (although the presents are starting to become fewer but at 28 I guess that is part of the course. 17 of us went out for a meal at the local Napalanese place that was absolutuly fantastic, I even got a present from them in the form of two bottles of champers that we all shared after the meal along witth the two mint ice creams that acted as cakes.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Summer Sun
Well is is now the beginning of September and although my birthday is only a week away (yes Im getting older still 28 this year) it appears that the summer sun is slowly starting to fade. The last couple of weeks has seen some more rain (which is quite good as we have needed it down here).
I recently spent two weeks at home visiting the family, friends and walking in Scotland so that I could get a small break from work before everything starts up again for the winter, Scouts, football and preparations for the Jamboree (although they have been shooting through at a frantic rate even over the summer).
What have I been up to well, as Ive just said the Jamboree preparations have kept me busy as I in charge of all the merchandise that we are selling thats the Clothing line and the Badges (see here for details) which takes a surprising amount of time. As a Contingent (Unit) we have to think of what extra items we need to buy for the Jamboree too.
The rest of the summer has been fairly relaxed actually a few days here and there the rest spent at work. My sporting life continues as normal although my Underwater Hockey moved to and from the outdoor pool for the heat of the summer for our midweek session.
Apart from that that seems about it.
I recently spent two weeks at home visiting the family, friends and walking in Scotland so that I could get a small break from work before everything starts up again for the winter, Scouts, football and preparations for the Jamboree (although they have been shooting through at a frantic rate even over the summer).
What have I been up to well, as Ive just said the Jamboree preparations have kept me busy as I in charge of all the merchandise that we are selling thats the Clothing line and the Badges (see here for details) which takes a surprising amount of time. As a Contingent (Unit) we have to think of what extra items we need to buy for the Jamboree too.
The rest of the summer has been fairly relaxed actually a few days here and there the rest spent at work. My sporting life continues as normal although my Underwater Hockey moved to and from the outdoor pool for the heat of the summer for our midweek session.
Apart from that that seems about it.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Been a while
OK for whatever reason i has been a wee (little) while since I appear to have posted a message but hey life has been a bit busy over this side of the pond. I currently have quite a good tan. No Ive not been away anywhere on holiday Ive just had the cahnce to sit in all the sun that we have been having over the past couple of months. I even have managed to fit in a couple of DRY camps.
This last week I beat the extra security checks and have headed back to scotland to see the family and some of the friends taht I still have here. And true to form the weather has been a bit funny, tonight it is absolutely pouring with rain, something similar happened at the weekend in the SE of England causing flash floods although it was needed. We are supposed to be having a family BBQ this evening (Friday as it is now 1am) however if this rain keeps up dad will be out cooking the food on whatever wet wood that he can find.
Well Guess I should give a brief summery of what Ive been up to over the past few weeks or so, so here goes:
well firstly the weather has cooled down just a touch and it is no longer in excess of 30C (indoors) at 11pm which is quite nice. All of my meetings have stopped for the summer as we are all here and there which also give me a bit of breathing space. I have however been trying to raise funds for my contingent next year by putting together a line of clothing to sell to people to raise funds for both myself and the 39 others that are going.
As for my footbal we finished 3rd in the summer league and won our first round cup match on Monday night, Ive gone on holiday so have left the boys to it for this week coming so hopefully they can do well enough!
spent a day at the British Beer Festival a few weeks ago and tried a few beers, I usually drink lagers so beers weer a bit of a change, even if most of what I drank were golden in colour.
Last weekend however as spent drinking free TEA (Traditional English Ale) from one of the local brewerys at a party my friend threw in the wake of them getting married in June, giving them two receptions but they will only do it the once so im sure it is allowed, whats more it kept the family and friends apart!!
Best be off its bed time
This last week I beat the extra security checks and have headed back to scotland to see the family and some of the friends taht I still have here. And true to form the weather has been a bit funny, tonight it is absolutely pouring with rain, something similar happened at the weekend in the SE of England causing flash floods although it was needed. We are supposed to be having a family BBQ this evening (Friday as it is now 1am) however if this rain keeps up dad will be out cooking the food on whatever wet wood that he can find.
Well Guess I should give a brief summery of what Ive been up to over the past few weeks or so, so here goes:
well firstly the weather has cooled down just a touch and it is no longer in excess of 30C (indoors) at 11pm which is quite nice. All of my meetings have stopped for the summer as we are all here and there which also give me a bit of breathing space. I have however been trying to raise funds for my contingent next year by putting together a line of clothing to sell to people to raise funds for both myself and the 39 others that are going.
As for my footbal we finished 3rd in the summer league and won our first round cup match on Monday night, Ive gone on holiday so have left the boys to it for this week coming so hopefully they can do well enough!
spent a day at the British Beer Festival a few weeks ago and tried a few beers, I usually drink lagers so beers weer a bit of a change, even if most of what I drank were golden in colour.
Last weekend however as spent drinking free TEA (Traditional English Ale) from one of the local brewerys at a party my friend threw in the wake of them getting married in June, giving them two receptions but they will only do it the once so im sure it is allowed, whats more it kept the family and friends apart!!
Best be off its bed time
Friday, July 21, 2006
Hot Hot Hot
well its been a wee while since I have posted a message up here, so thought that I would update with a short message just to let people know what Ive been up to.
well I continue to play underwater hockey every Sunday and wednesday in Guildford, five-aside football on a Monday and scouts on a Friday. Every few weeks I have a meeting about the Scout Jamboree next summer. To pay the bills I still am working away at IAH here in Woking.
Whats new, well I looked at being able to step on the property ladder but the rug seems a bit slippy at the moment with only being able to get £100K and house prises starting at about £120K, not to mention that I cant really afford repayments for a £100K mortgage so looks like Im going to have to continue to rent for the time being.
The last two weeks have been spent camping so Im now up to 4 camps so far this year with atleast one more planned although with the weather the way it is Im sure that I may have more before too long.
At the moment it just past 11pm and still the temperature in the flat is somewhere about 30C and Im sweating buckets and all I am doing is sitting writing on the PC.
well I continue to play underwater hockey every Sunday and wednesday in Guildford, five-aside football on a Monday and scouts on a Friday. Every few weeks I have a meeting about the Scout Jamboree next summer. To pay the bills I still am working away at IAH here in Woking.
Whats new, well I looked at being able to step on the property ladder but the rug seems a bit slippy at the moment with only being able to get £100K and house prises starting at about £120K, not to mention that I cant really afford repayments for a £100K mortgage so looks like Im going to have to continue to rent for the time being.
The last two weeks have been spent camping so Im now up to 4 camps so far this year with atleast one more planned although with the weather the way it is Im sure that I may have more before too long.
At the moment it just past 11pm and still the temperature in the flat is somewhere about 30C and Im sweating buckets and all I am doing is sitting writing on the PC.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Family Get together
Last weekend saw the whole of my dads side of the family come together for the first time in about 2-3 years for my Aunts birthday. Im afraid that I dont have shots of the whole family together Peggy but here we all are anyway.
The party theme was Musical shows see if you can guess who we all were.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Camp number 2: Wet Wet Wet
Just arrived home from work having finally managed to get my car fixed at a cost to me of £310 which was my excess. The day was quite good, found out that two of my close friends have finally decided that they are going to get married and are due to get married next month (at last)
the weekend was spent on camp and it absolutely chucked it down with rain over the whole weekend. The rain was also well over due but did cause some havoc over the weekend, I was just glad that we were indoors rather than outdoors that wouldn't have been good at all. I heard reports of rivers running through peoples tents!!
As yet although the requests were raised not managed to get my hands on the photos of me from Brecon after I damaged my nose but I promise that they will be posted as soon as I have them. However I have attached some photos of me on the assault course on camp for your amusement in the mean time.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Spring Sun and Walking
Spring has finally sprung here with temperatures the last couple of days being in the mid 20's the Centigrade not Fahrenheit. The sun has been splitting the sky and there hasn’t been much rain although we are due to get some at the weekend. I must admit that not having much rain isn’t that new for the South East of England as it is dryer here than the like of Rome, South of Spain and also Texas. So whatever the rain at the weekend it will only dampen the surface of the shortages of water that we have here I’m quite sure.
Last weekend I went on my usual trip (with the Scouts) to the Brecon Beacons in Wales for some walking across the peaks. With the good weather it was a fantastic time, even though there was some rain on the last night causing all the tents to get wet. The worst things that happened were some of the older boys getting lost in a Forest that had been cut down and therefore taking a few hours longer than expected to get to there check point, meaning that we were close to calling out mountain Rescue to look for them as we had no idea where they were. The funniest thing that happened to me was the fact that whilst scrambling up a slope I slipped and a reed went straight up my nose and pierced the inside causing it to flow with blood. The other leaders and the kids that were with us had a good laugh at me when I got to the top with a chunk of tissue hanging out of my nose to stem the bleeding. I also got a good ribbing about it over a couple of drinks in the evening.
If I get hold of the photos over the weekend I will be sure to post them for you all to laugh at.
Last weekend I went on my usual trip (with the Scouts) to the Brecon Beacons in Wales for some walking across the peaks. With the good weather it was a fantastic time, even though there was some rain on the last night causing all the tents to get wet. The worst things that happened were some of the older boys getting lost in a Forest that had been cut down and therefore taking a few hours longer than expected to get to there check point, meaning that we were close to calling out mountain Rescue to look for them as we had no idea where they were. The funniest thing that happened to me was the fact that whilst scrambling up a slope I slipped and a reed went straight up my nose and pierced the inside causing it to flow with blood. The other leaders and the kids that were with us had a good laugh at me when I got to the top with a chunk of tissue hanging out of my nose to stem the bleeding. I also got a good ribbing about it over a couple of drinks in the evening.
If I get hold of the photos over the weekend I will be sure to post them for you all to laugh at.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Nwe Cars and other people
A few weeks ago my car decided that it didn’t want to start after Id been away on holiday for a week. So rather than face this problem every time that I go away for a few days I thought that it would be best to replace the car rather than risk the same thing happening for at least a third time this year.
About two weeks ago I test drove a number of car ranging from Renaults, Mitsubishis to Nissans and a few others. Quite quickly I decided that the Nissan Almera was just for me a good size (a bit bigger than my Rover, OK a lot bigger than the Rover) the engine was a 1.5 so I bought it and have now had the car for a week. Today however I went to fit the new car mats that I had just bought to protect the car from wear and tear to find a massive dent in the back door of the passenger side of the car and a small one on the front door. The dent hadn’t been there yesterday morning when my friend had a look at my car so all I know is that the dent appeared sometime between yesterday lunch time and about 1045 this morning (when I noticed the dent).
I have my suspicions about when exactly the dent was inserted into my car but sadly don’t know who it was or why they didn’t let me know that they had done it. Ive reported it to the police so hopefully the person that did it will also go to the police and confess however I doubt it.
Of course the funniest thing about it all is that it happened on “Good” Friday, well Id beg to differ nothing is good about this years good Friday.
Monday, March 20, 2006
3 Months on
Well its almost 3 months since I joined the bloggers world and funnily enough Im stitting exactly where it all started in December at my parents house in Scotland. I guess that over the past few months Ive not had too much to write about but hey life hasnt changed too much. The biggest thing too have happened is the fact that I was selected for next years World Jamboree in Chelmsford, UK as a leader for one of the surrey groups that are going.
Not much has happened with that, Ive not spoken with the contingent leader but have spoken with the other assistant as he happens to live just up the road and whilst in the pub on Friday night one of my mates who is also going but in a different contingent has already had planning meetings with the olks that she is away with.
Think dinners ready better go.
Not much has happened with that, Ive not spoken with the contingent leader but have spoken with the other assistant as he happens to live just up the road and whilst in the pub on Friday night one of my mates who is also going but in a different contingent has already had planning meetings with the olks that she is away with.
Think dinners ready better go.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Police problems
Already half way through my first week of my 2 weeks off work. Monday was spent on a 3 Hr hike it was perfect weather for walking dry but cool, needed a jacket thou as its still a bit nippy out there. Yesterday was fairly quiet did some stuff about the house.
Today I did some shopping for some new T-shirts etc. but didnt get much however when I got back to the car then thats when the problems of the day started. When I got into the car the keyfob wouldnt turn off the immobilisor, I thought that it may have been the battery but however this didnt change a thing. I then phoned a friend to pick me up so that I could get my spares again this didnt work. Eventually I had to phone the recovery company, likewise they couldnt see what had suddenly caused the problem. Then it clicked the carpark is righ next to the local police station and it turned out that the signal that they send out interferes with some of the car immobilisors. We got it started thankfully as I was dreading a bill for a couple of hundred pounds to get it fixed. Needless to say dont park your car near a police station, it may not get stolen but you might not be able to start it again yourself.
Today I did some shopping for some new T-shirts etc. but didnt get much however when I got back to the car then thats when the problems of the day started. When I got into the car the keyfob wouldnt turn off the immobilisor, I thought that it may have been the battery but however this didnt change a thing. I then phoned a friend to pick me up so that I could get my spares again this didnt work. Eventually I had to phone the recovery company, likewise they couldnt see what had suddenly caused the problem. Then it clicked the carpark is righ next to the local police station and it turned out that the signal that they send out interferes with some of the car immobilisors. We got it started thankfully as I was dreading a bill for a couple of hundred pounds to get it fixed. Needless to say dont park your car near a police station, it may not get stolen but you might not be able to start it again yourself.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Holiday time
Well actually still got a couple of days to go!!!!
At last Ive decided that Im taking some leave, I decided about a month or two ago but its almost here at last. Yes as of Friday afternoon some time Im having two whole weeks away from work. The first week is kind of forced as the office is shut whilst they redo the air conditioning but Im still having to take time off as I dont fancy sitting in the libary reading books and papers and the second week is to be spent at my folks, not seen mum or my sister since Xmas so looking forward to that. Saw my dad at the weekend as he was in the area visiting his folks although he chose the wrong weekend to come down as I didnt see him much as I had a Scout hike on the Saturday followed by a mates birthday in the evening.
Dont know quite what to do for next week yet Monday night Ive got a meeting, then Ive got to be here on Friday and Sat before flying home on the Sunday. Therefore need to do something on the Tuesday throu Friday lunchtime. Was planning on doing some walking as havent been walking for ages (I was manning check points on Sat, the life of a leader!!!) but the weather looking a bit crap be it rain or some snow Im bound to get wet.
Any ideas what I could do???
Dave & Sarah: the boys growing up quick
At last Ive decided that Im taking some leave, I decided about a month or two ago but its almost here at last. Yes as of Friday afternoon some time Im having two whole weeks away from work. The first week is kind of forced as the office is shut whilst they redo the air conditioning but Im still having to take time off as I dont fancy sitting in the libary reading books and papers and the second week is to be spent at my folks, not seen mum or my sister since Xmas so looking forward to that. Saw my dad at the weekend as he was in the area visiting his folks although he chose the wrong weekend to come down as I didnt see him much as I had a Scout hike on the Saturday followed by a mates birthday in the evening.
Dont know quite what to do for next week yet Monday night Ive got a meeting, then Ive got to be here on Friday and Sat before flying home on the Sunday. Therefore need to do something on the Tuesday throu Friday lunchtime. Was planning on doing some walking as havent been walking for ages (I was manning check points on Sat, the life of a leader!!!) but the weather looking a bit crap be it rain or some snow Im bound to get wet.
Any ideas what I could do???
Dave & Sarah: the boys growing up quick
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Snow Joke
Well its actually more serious than that.
Although I compained earlier in the year that it hadn't snowed here yet it has actually been snwing here today and despite there being rain also it has actually lying on the ground. However we have reciently had a Indian chap start in one of the departments here and before today he had never seen snow before. Guess I should stop complaining about not having had any up to now
Although I compained earlier in the year that it hadn't snowed here yet it has actually been snwing here today and despite there being rain also it has actually lying on the ground. However we have reciently had a Indian chap start in one of the departments here and before today he had never seen snow before. Guess I should stop complaining about not having had any up to now
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Sporting Disasters
Well only a couple of hours ago I watch the US ice hockey team continue there rediculous run in the Olympic with yet a further run. However unlike the other losses that they have had this means that they are infact on there way home and back to train with there respective NHL teams. Finland however move forwardinto the next round of the comp and closer to possibly winning a medal.
Now Im listening to my football team Rangers losing at half time by two goals to one in a home game against the Spanish side Villireal. Hopefully we can still win but the two away goals will hurt us regardless of the final result tonight in the second leg. But hopefully we can still get a couple of good results and continue forward into the last 8 of the European Cup.
Now Im listening to my football team Rangers losing at half time by two goals to one in a home game against the Spanish side Villireal. Hopefully we can still win but the two away goals will hurt us regardless of the final result tonight in the second leg. But hopefully we can still get a couple of good results and continue forward into the last 8 of the European Cup.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Photo
Ive finally managed to get a photo of myself with dad from New Year that my mum took on her new camera
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Jamboree 2007
Well since last Saturday Ive been told that Im getting to go on to the World Jamboree as an Assistant contingent leader. Aparently there are 9 of us going including one of my close friends although she happens to be in a different Contingent. Surrey Scouts have 75% of 3 contingents each consisting of 27 Scouts, 3 Leaders and then a further 9 young people and one of their leaders. Just got to think of a way to raise the money need to go now. Any zany ways of raising funds for 30 people would be great so let me have them
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I owe my parents....
1. My parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My parents taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My parents taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My parents taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My parents taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12 My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My parents taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My parents taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My parents taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My parents taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My parents taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My parents taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
2. My parents taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My parents taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My parents taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My parents taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12 My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My parents taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My parents taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My parents taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My parents taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My parents taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My parents taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Jamboree 2007
Had a fairly busy day today. The Scouting Association are hosting the 2007 jamboree here in the UK were 40,000 participants are due to fall in Essex during the first week in August next summer. What has all that to do with today well each area (county) puts forward a contingent of participants and today I attended a selection day complete with interview for one of the spots for one of the Surrey Scout Contingent Leaders. So the day was spent putting up tents, building a ballista out of garden canes, orienteering, making lunch, devising a sketch for a camp fire about the UK and having a short interview all so that I could sell myself to the team of selectors into becoming a Leader for the event during next summer.
All sounds and actually reads fairly straight forward which I suppose it wasn't however as Im absolutely knackered this evening and could hit the hay at any time I feel. Im quite sure that I wont have too late a night as Im visiting my Grandparent tomorrow for lunch before I go off to Octopush training in the evening, all that means Ill miss the rugby but should mean that I get in in time to see the Super bowl which is been shown in full length rerun in the evening on ITV which should be good. Not sure how late it will be on knowing my luck the match wont start till midnight, but one can only wait and see. So no revealing the score just yet, as for who I want to win, not sure, it would be nice for either side to win it as I believe that even though the Steelers have one it 4 times they haven’t one it in about 25 years or so however since the Seahawks have never been there and the Steelers beat the Viks last time they were there my vote should go with the Hawks.
All sounds and actually reads fairly straight forward which I suppose it wasn't however as Im absolutely knackered this evening and could hit the hay at any time I feel. Im quite sure that I wont have too late a night as Im visiting my Grandparent tomorrow for lunch before I go off to Octopush training in the evening, all that means Ill miss the rugby but should mean that I get in in time to see the Super bowl which is been shown in full length rerun in the evening on ITV which should be good. Not sure how late it will be on knowing my luck the match wont start till midnight, but one can only wait and see. So no revealing the score just yet, as for who I want to win, not sure, it would be nice for either side to win it as I believe that even though the Steelers have one it 4 times they haven’t one it in about 25 years or so however since the Seahawks have never been there and the Steelers beat the Viks last time they were there my vote should go with the Hawks.
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